Developing Through Relationships
Origins of Communication, Self, and Culture
By Alan Fogel

Alan Fogel, Professor of Psychology at the University of Utah, proposes that human development takes place as a result of a “co-regulated activity” within relationships. It is this jointly created “dynamic discourse, the act of communication” that enables the self to “arise from one’s physical and social relationships.” This proposed relationship theory of human development also suggests that creativity within the dynamically changing nature of relationships is critical for development to take place.

Developing Through Relationships references empirical findings from the fields of linguistics, biology, literature, cognitive and neural science, anthropology, and psychology to guide the reader’s understanding of how the human mind and a sense of self develop out of a “continuous process model of communication and relationship formation.”

What struck me from the very beginning of the book is how congruent Fogel’s theory was with the description of social work theory as adopted by the International Federation of Social Work meeting held in Montreal, Canada, July 2000:

 

Social work bases its methodology on a systematic body of evidence-based knowledge derived from research and practice evaluation, including local and indigenous knowledge specific to its context. It recognizes the complexity of interactions between human beings and their environment, and the capacity of people both to be affected by and to alter the multiple influences upon them including bio-psychosocial factors. The social work profession draws on theories of human development, behavior and social systems to analyze complex situations and to facilitate individual, organizational, social and cultural changes.

 

Fogel discusses in great detail what social workers are trained to value: understanding human development in social context, recognizing that everyday communication within the relationships between self- and-others and self-with-society is foundational for our profession. No matter how we choose to practice, we know that a relational, bi-directional, attuned interaction with our clients is necessary to co-create the therapeutic relationship. As the author clearly articulates:
… an attempt to comprehend the human mind and self that is not grounded in a theory of personal relationships may sprout and grow but is unlikely to yield edible fruit and attractive flowers.

I found it interesting to note that while Fogel wrote this book in 1993, many of his proposed constructs about understanding development of the human mind and sense of self compare favorably with recent social-neurobiological findings. For instance he discusses how the mind is understood as an evolving historical process of personal relationship formation. This relationship-dependent process is similar to Daniel Siegel’s thesis in The Developing Mind (2001) in that the brain’s development and growth are an “activity dependent process,” and it is relationships which foster the development of the mind throughout life.

In addition Daniel Siegel’s book The Mindful Brain (2007) and Luo Cozolino’s The Neuroscience of Human Relationships (2007) discuss the centrality of relationships in a person’s life and their critical role in developing the brain. These two authors point to the brain as a social organ of the body; our survival is related to how we use our minds within social settings. Human interaction within relationships establishes the neural connections from which our minds emerge.

Fogel’s references to the parent-child relationship and attachment theory compare well with David Wallen’s book Attachment in Psychotherapy (2006). Not only does Wallen discuss the importance of understanding development through relationships but also takes the theory and applies it to the practice of psychotherapy. It is this application that truly brings home for me the practical relevance of Fogel’s work

The book is presented in two sections which enable the reader to follow the development of his thesis. Part I, Communication Process, traces the roots of communication, self, and culture from their earliest origins. Examples of mother-child behavior, which reflect concepts closely related to attachment theory, help illustrate how our “original sense of self” comes from social and physical relationships. Phrases like “mutually alter each other” and “jointly constructed by both” were thought-provoking for me as well as relevant to many of my clinical cases, and frequently I wrote the initials of clients in the margin for future reference.

In Part II, The Relationship Process, the author looks at theories of human development in relationships and the development of these relationships. Of particular interest is the section addressing the process of self organization within relationships where the author discusses how “information is created when the degrees of freedom are reduced?” Familiar examples he uses focus on the interaction within parent-child, therapist-client and marital-couple relationships. Fogle further engages the reader when he references wolf behavior within the animal kingdom to explain how “repeating patterns in a relationship are symptoms of information creation.”
Having often re-read this book, I continue to find important ideas which I apply in my practice. I strongly recommend this book; it is an excellent reference which will not gather dust on your bookshelf.

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