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February 26, 2007 As therapists we accept self-examination as an ongoing responsibility. The willingness to accept this challenge may be difficult and sometimes painful. Whether self-motivated or client-stimulated, a decision to pursue therapy or seek supervision benefits our clients and ourselves. Not long ago a 39-year-old male client brought Fight Club, a movie released in 1999, to my attention. We had been discussing the merits of his joining one of my men’s psychotherapy groups. After a brief interaction, which included describing the key aspects of a men’s therapy group, he decided not to join a group, and we continued his individual psychotherapy. Talking about the movie provided an opportunity for me to learn about my client. It also opened the door for me to learn a lot more about myself. Make no mistake about it, this movie will upset you. Its graphic use of violence provides a look at the sadomasochistic shadow side. It is fast paced and clever, a visually stunning drama/dark comedy about the dark side of men in this society. The story line provides the viewer with a powerful social message. Because we are assaulted with images of violence and mayhem under the guise of religious, political and moral rationalization, Fight Clubs message becomes more urgent with each year that passes in this century. We see stories about school shootings and mall killings perpetrated by young men, boys who seem to have lost their moral compass. Then we do nothing except to convene a study or expert panel to assuage our guilt and pretend we want to know what causes these events. We are bombarded with statistics about the numbers of people killed and crippled as a result of war. These facts become expected background noise and we become numb, disconnected from the brutal reality of it all. This movie confronts us with the shallowness of our attempts at self-improvement with denial becoming a national justification. Fight Club presents the viewer with an overload of thought-provoking material. It tells a story about men lost in a consumer driven society. It tells about helplessness and hopelessness, the ongoing struggle to find meaning for human connection. We see the horrific pain that exists inside of some men and what can happen if they cannot find relief through their acknowledgement of pain and dark side feelings. Jack the narrator of this story, played by Edward Norton, represents man in his most desperate self. We find him as a cynical but mild mannered employee of a major automobile manufacturer who is suffering from severe insomnia. A disinterested doctor tells him to stop whining and visit a testicular cancer survivors’ group if he wants to see men with real problems. He does just that and has a cathartic experience, crying in the arms of a man who has grown breasts as a result of taking hormones. This experience miraculously heals Jack’s insomnia, and now he can sleep like a baby. Jack’s pain is temporarily relieved as a result of his connection with other men and women in various support groups. He becomes a visitor, a tourist as he describes himself, without the reality of physical illness. Jack believes he has found the answer to his sleep problems, becomes a support group junkie, and goes to a group, covering multiple illnesses, seven nights a week. He gains support by identifying with men who have lost their manhood, their testicles. This use of metaphor illuminates the consuming difficulty men find in defining their masculinity with sexuality. Is that really their pain? As the film progresses we learn how the use of violence becomes a way for men to alleviate this pain. The introduction of Marla Singer, played by Helena Bonham Carter, brings the metaphor of love-hate conflict and relationships with women. Marla, another faker, attends support groups for their sheer voyeuristic entertainment value. This destroys, or makes conscious, Jack’s illusion of relief. Now he can’t sleep again. He works up the courage, confronts her, and they create a shared alliance through an agreed-upon time schedule, which allows both to attend meetings without running into each other. Can we see this as a metaphor for how men manage intimacy within marriages and relationships? We share space and time but really cannot be with one another. Jack, still suffering from major sleep deprivation, meets Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt). Tyler suddenly appears in the seat next to him on a plane. Their initial encounter provides a transition into the next part of the film. Jack describes this meeting as the worst day of his life. This event represents his becoming conscious and facing Tyler, his dark side. As we will learn, facing the dark side can be terrifying and overwhelming. Jack and Tyler depart separately from the airport, only to be reunited when Jack looses his apartment in a fiery explosion. Out of desperation, he calls Tyler to meet him for a drink, not knowing what else to do. Here the film’s violence begins to emerge as Tyler introduces Jack to fighting. This mayhem becomes therapy when they feel a release from their aloneness and pain as a result of inflicting and sharing pain. Does not weekend football represent a milder version of this conflict, reflected in our culture when men celebrate camaraderie during football season? Millions of men and women watch and cheer the combatants as they celebrate their masculinity. There is a catharsis that takes place through their bashing and inflicting pain upon each other. Can we allow ourselves to see this analogy of the fight club as no more odious than the collaboration of all the weekend sports warriors? Can we be honest and acknowledge how sports glorify men through physical and often violent encounter? Is Fight Club really different from our current state of managing our pain? Fight Club, a secret society, represents the essence of men’s yearning and desperation. The first and second rule of fight club is that you don’t talk about fight club. This illustrates how and why men suffer as they do, by staying stuck in their shame through silence. This code of silence insures isolation and is detrimental to men’s emotional and physical health. The violence of the film is balanced by the ongoing conflict around intimacy and sexuality as Tyler and Marla develop a sexual relationship. We are never shown the actual sex, but enough clues are given to understand the depth of the dark side eroticism. We are challenged to acknowledge sexuality and intimacy with all the possibilities. Can we bear to look at our own dark side? Can we entertain the possibility that watching the movie is no more difficult than clients entering into psychotherapy? Viewing Fight Club represents the difficulty of men dancing with their dark side. The end of the film will surprise you. The last few minutes provide an interesting juxtaposition as we see Jack and Marla holding hands watching the symbols of commercialism fall to the ground. My hope in seeing this ending comes from this simple holding of hands, the acknowledgement that in spite of our dark side, we can create relationships through connection which provide the basis to heal. Rent Fight Club if you dare to learn something about yourself. Watching Fight Club and acknowledging our dark side are not easy tasks, but they just may be worth the effort. |